Eurovision 2014

Well, let’ see how long I last ‘live blogging’ this year’s Eurovision. No promises that I will reach the end.

It looked promising at first. After ten minutes all 26 countries had marched onto the stage and off again. That was the quickest of all. But it appears they expect to actually sing, as well.

So far I’ve noticed the bearded lady and the baking ladies, and am not impressed by either. What’s wrong with a plain singing a song contest?

But at least we have ‘Kasper’ to entertain us. Except the presenters don’t come into their own until the dreaded chat with all of ‘Europe.’

Number three looks nice enough, but is showing a lot of bottom where her dress ends prematurely. The Resident IT Consultant enjoyed seeing a view from Iceland that he’d actually visited. (I hasten to add I didn’t mean the lady’s behind.) Glad there was something for him too. Graham Norton is clearly not enjoying himself. Again.

Man number five looks the same as number two. Belarus, Norway, what’s the difference? Why have the green room in front of the audience? Green rooms are for participants to relax, go to the toilet, and so on. It’d be my worst nightmare to green room it in front of everyone.

Receiving flak on facebook for not liking this enough. Surely it used to be more fun? Or am I simply growing old?

Spectacular Polish hair. Spectacular other assets too. And I don’t care what anyone says, but I don’t like bearded ladies. Song is OK. And the audience appreciation managed to drown out Graham Norton’s voice. Do that again, please. Thank you Nikolaj Koppel. You may speak and silence GN.

The Grandmother is sorting her drugs, but I can still hear the Swedish song above the crackling blister packs. Not bad. Sweden knows how to song contest.

Practical joke played on the Russian twins. Someone tied their hair together. Or not. Do I have time to go empty the dishwasher? Yes. All done. The good thing about stopping watching is that you can just listen to the songs. On that basis I liked the Finnish entry.

The rain from Spain… Cute Swiss guy. Just saying. The Resident IT Consultant has just gone out for a walk. I suppose he watches better from a distance too.

Why the surprise that Malta could be any good? GN? Small is good. And the official website collapsed. Denmark, hmm. Their flag was better than the song. Dutch singers very retro. GN likes their song. So do I.

San Marino is unusual, at least. Smaller than small. Which just leaves British Molly. (The Resident IT Consultant wondered if people would vote for a free Scottish entry, next year.) Nice double deckers. The song isn’t an embarrassment, which must be a first for many years.

Pilou insults GN. Thank you, Kasper! Tak!

Now we have Mozart up a ladder… Singing hosts. Whatever next? Results would be good. Preferably instant ones. Mini Maltese junior winner. They can sing in Malta.

Curly wurly cake? Honestly.

Votes. Booing? Really? Need to remind the Europe correspondents not to make speeches. Hilversum. Reminds me of my old radio. It’s getting exciting. I don’t believe Sweden needs another win. Let’s give it to Austria.

Was going to ask if anyone actually still speaks French. The French do. Most of the other people speak several languages. They sing the votes. Austria doing well. La la la.

I suppose it’ll be Austria or the Netherlands. Conchita wins. Congratulations to her. Him. Both of them. Just goes to show we all love a beard. (Within reason.)

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2 responses to “Eurovision 2014

  1. If you’d like another report from your Eurovision correspondent, I was there this year – we managed to get tickets to the final. (Have just got back from Copenhagen.) I will say that it’s a lot more fun to be there than it seems on TV, it goes a lot quicker, and the songs all (amazingly enough) sound a great deal better. Maybe they have the world’s most forgiving sound system. But it makes for a great experience.

    Oh, and given the demographics of the live audience, the miracle was probably that there wasn’t more booing. The hosts had to keep reminding the audience it was just a song concert and not politics, but I can safely say that if there were Russians in the hall other than the singers, they wisely kept it to themselves. (And there was a fair amount of protest booing and rainbow flags that didn’t make it to the live coverage. Plus a lot of people got up and left during the Russian number. We didn’t – no use blaming their singers. But that gives you a sense of the mood.)

    On a purely musical level, I would have voted Malta, Netherlands, Denmark, Norway (and possibly Armenia) ahead of Austria, but there was no doubting the mood in the hall – if you’d polled the room, Austria would have won by even more. The two friends I was with were over the moon, and the media certainly seemed/seems to think it’s something significant. I’ll take that over blandness, I suppose.

    (PS: Cute Swiss guy was cute. Finland too, although best not to notice quite how young they were. And the two who looked similar were Norway and Armenia. Belarus were the Justin Timberlake lookalikes.)

    (PPS: My Dutch colleague just popped into my office and observed that she was rather annoyed at finishing second – apparently, the Netherlands started taking the contest seriously, and sent good artists…but now they’ve just missed victory and have run out of decent pop musicians for the future!)

  2. Thank you for that, Lauren! Sounds great, and I almost wish I’d been there. Almost.
    Having tried to buy a ticket last year (not for me!), I just wonder how people do it. Or maybe the Swedish ticket system was appallingly bad.
    I liked Malta. They often have good songs and singers. Think that Finland sounded good, but can’t be sure any longer.
    Are you going to Austria? I know someone who would like to come along.

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