Sequins in Salford – Fascinating Aïda, The Cheap Flights Tour

They knew Dogging from just the intro. And then – judging by the sounds of surprised delight – they didn’t know the Tesco song or the Little Chef one or even the German song. What kind of people do we have in Salford? I ask you?

The best kind, obviously, although I’m still somewhat concerned.

It was sold out, the Fascinating Aïda Cheap Flights Tour. So sold out that at the Lowry they did two shows on Tuesday, and as they said, it takes a certain kind of person to go to cabaret in the afternoon. The best kind, I suspect. The kind that doesn’t need to google dogging, and if they did, they would definitely clear their history after. Or ask the bar staff at the Lowry, seeing as they had been primed.

Fascinating Aïda, The Cheap Flights Tour

When I went to pick up my ticket, Fascinating Aïda’s latest recruit Sarah-Louise Young was in front of me in the queue. I’m guessing there was no ticket left for her, which will be why she ended up on the stage instead… Sarah-Louise halved the average age of FA when she joined, and that’s no bad thing, I say.

They have new songs as well as old ones. The new ones are new and some of the old ones have been dusted off and spruced up and given spanking (sorry) new details. So, their Bulgarian folk songs are new, but then they ‘always’ were.

The how to write a bestseller is now on Nordic crime, which to the uninitiated is Raymond Chandler with snow. Sort of an Ikea dunnit. We got songs on how to kill your mother, threesomes, one night stands and something for taxpayers. I wouldn’t know about that. Us foreigners are only good for making coffee. Baristas, is what they call us now.

Flying to Ireland for 50p is hard to do, or so they’ve found. But at least after 28 years they finally have a hit. As Adèle said, the YouTube version of Cheap Flights went fungal. It’ll be all the ‘fecking’ I expect. The first act finished with some ‘young’ dancing of the kind I’m forbidden to engage in at home, but P-Dillie is right in that grey is the new black.

Fascinating Aïda, The Cheap Flights Tour

Adèle and Dillie and Sarah-Louise were beautifully dressed to begin with, but in act two they surpassed themselves and their sequinned dresses almost required sunglasses.

I mentioned Little Chef earlier, and have to say I was most gratified that this beautiful Scottish travelling song has been resurrected. It’s one of the best. They really suffer for their art when out on the road so much of the time. Speaking of art, they don’t like what we have in Salford Quays. (Or was that a joke?) Anyway, it brought on a song about art.

We had the German song, and I could tell Dillie has kept up her practising on the piano stool. (Obviously, had she known 27 years ago that she would need to, she would never have come up with it in the first place.) More Bulgarian songs, a song about being bored, and they generally know how to look sad. But Sarah-Louise is far too young and far too new to be allowed near the piano for a Bulgarian ‘plink.’

Yes, they do have a bleak view of the future. Who doesn’t? I suppose it’s only fair that they should end a performance based on that man who sells flights to Ireland for 50p (except he doesn’t) by mentioning that unlike many, he pays his taxes. I suppose FA know about this?

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4 responses to “Sequins in Salford – Fascinating Aïda, The Cheap Flights Tour

  1. Hi Anne, James and I were there, too! Small world. My face hurts from so much laughing.

  2. Oh.
    You laughed? I just sat there in stony faced silence… 😉
    Sorry to have missed you.

  3. Will they STOP doing shows whenever I can’t come?! I’m determined to watch them someday, and then take a picture afterwards… You never know, they might go down well with the student body in St. Andrews. 🙂

  4. The very bad thing about afternoon cabaret is that they didn’t have time to spare (?!) for photos after the first show… Sob. I had to resort to stealing on the internet.

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